All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
