Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
