This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
