our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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