so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
