We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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