Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
