So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
