remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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