The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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