I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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