One girl and one boy is just not enough.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
