Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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