the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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