So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
