that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
