We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
