Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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