why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
