My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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