there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize