I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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