i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
