How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize