he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What a dumb baby whore.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
True strength comes from lack of pants
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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