can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
