I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
