He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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