oh god the rape fog is back!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
bring money and cleavage
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
