cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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