What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
