that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
