she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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