I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
