Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize