to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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