Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
