Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
