Why are handjobs necessary in class?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
