Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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