i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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