I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
