my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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