I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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