grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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