She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
