who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
