He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My dick has a subreddit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
