i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
