Will you blow on my dice?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
