Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
