I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
