i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
