All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
