I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
