My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
