I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
