Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
