Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
