if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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