I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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