just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
