You're my little dorito
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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