I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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