Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
