Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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