I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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